he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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