I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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