last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
