my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
