is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
