But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
