He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
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