problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
