I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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