just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Randomize