and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
