farters have to be the big spoon...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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