I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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