Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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