is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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