I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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