You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
