If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
