It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
