He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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