some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
