I hate all girls vehemently.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize