we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
