You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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