Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
