I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I love having hate sex.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
