dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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