Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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