if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
