Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
