the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
