Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize