That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize