sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
