You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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