i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
