perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
