ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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