OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
