So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
