I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize