my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
