Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
