Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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