East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
