First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
