i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
