I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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