guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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