I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
