____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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