i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Man, jail baloney is awful.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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