no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
