i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
