you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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