Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
