At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
